i just had to document this. the many versions of my name. diana - the most popular of all. dinia - mostly from the older generation. dana - pronounced day-ner (sounds european). dana - pronounced dah-nah (sounds like some village bumpkin who runs around in mud). daina - first response when i introduce myself. dan - pronounced dah-n, from my girls in st nicks. nia - from myjackfodisco. daniel - mrs. choy, my primary school english teacher.
of course, i'd spare you from the numerous chinese versions. i'll leave that to imagination. so get it right, i'm dania. but i applaud the effort of those who try.
if this is what it appears to be. then you havent seen anything. this is nothing compared to the way it should look. conclusions will be ill-advised. plus, you lack what it takes to work my terrain.
that dont impress me much.
dont get me wrong yea i think you're alright but that wont keep me warm in the middle of the night.
perfection at 6:03 PM
-->
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
now this patrick redmond's. though not as refined and clever. rests on a sturdy plot. something that reminds me of a character i used to know. not with the drama and background. but with the thought and reasoning. absolutely identical. i miss that, but what good is it? but let's just keep that as a "maybe".
i need a haircut. and my own camera.
right now. i'm too drained to think of anything.
it swings, it jives it shakes all over like a jellyfish i kinda like it crazy little thing called love.
perfection at 6:15 PM
-->
Sunday, February 24, 2008
still basking in the magnificence of keith ablow's masterpiece. utter genius. "he was really no more than a plagiarist of the inventions born inside him".
i'm depleting my book reserves pretty quickly of late. i dont know if i'm gonna miss this when i get to university. i'll probably be reading a different genre of books instead. "how to get inside a mind of a criminal". then again, no book title will be this outright.
and now i know. how it feels to go to work solely on the motivation. that a monetary reward awaits you at the end of the month. nothing more. not very enticing to enter something you arent hardwired for.
i never really did like the word "brag".
when we've been there ten thousand years bright shining as the sun we've no less days to sing God's praise then when we first begun.
perfection at 6:20 PM
-->
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
agedly attractive, exuberance of charm. the sheer sureness of every move. snap, snap, on to it. yet disheartening all at the same time.
ooh. the prestige.
its been a long time since. that analytical, conclusive knick knack. i'd like more days of starbucks, oreo cheesecake and a good book.
yesterday i cried. you must have been relieved to see the softer side. i can understand how you'd be so confused. i dont envy you. i'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one.
so take me as i am. this may mean you'll have to be a stronger man. rest assured that when i start to make you nervous. and i'm going to extremes. tomorrow i will change and today wont mean a thing.
i'm a bitch, i'm a lover. i'm a child, i'm a mother. i'm a sinner, i'm a saint. i do not feel ashamed. i'm your hell, i'm your dream. i'm nothing in between. you know you wouldnt want it any other way.
just when you think you've got me figured out. the season's already changing. i think its cool you do what you do and dont try to save me.
i'm a bitch, i'm a tease. i'm a goddess on my knees. when you hurt, when you suffer. i'm your angel undercover. i've been numb, i'm revived. cant say i'm not alive. you know i wouldnt want it any other way.
so this is meredith brooks.
too long trying to resist it you've just gone and missed it its escaped your world.
perfection at 7:05 PM
-->
Saturday, February 16, 2008
if you ask me. we all need love. love is subjective, it differs from person to person. yet love is universal, everyone can relate. that in itself is an amazing work of art.
love is what i feel for music. it is my remedy for the days on which i feel under the weather. and making music's the best part. every note and every chord sings beautiful, drowning expression. when the music seems to flow through you. like it touches and soothes every nook and cranny inside. something connects so deep within. indeed, music brings me to another place altogether. and yes, i love it.
of course, i had my share of romantic love as well. it sought refuge with me for three and a half years. from what i can recall. the good times were really good. but the low points did get quite depressing. life then was pretty much a game in which the consoles were our mind. anyway, those days have become bittersweet memories. fun fact. never once did we spend a valentine's day together. quite odd, come to think of it.
to a criminal. love is killing her jealous husband so they can be together. to a priest. love is to be faithful and never marry. to an autistic. love is an outstretched palm with all five fingers spread. to a poet. love is an hourglass, which fills the heart as it empties the brain. what is love then, to you and i?
supposedly a blog entry for the vday event publicity website. guess the plan was held back at the last minute. had a pretty hard time crafting this. one criterion was that it must be understood by people from ages 13 to 18. being understood and easily permeated? not exactly my cup of tea. so i penned it from the heart, the best i could for Him. and there it is.
when i believed. i saw it play out and come to pass. along with so many others.
i love you i want you to know that i love you wont you open up your heart to receive this gift for you p.s. i love you.
perfection at 6:34 PM
-->
Friday, February 15, 2008
and then it is later.
in soft, mellowing, delicate beings. an excuse for a weakening will. everything settles as the skin moulds itself around unacceptable foreigners. that in itself, cannot be cleared.
i dont think i've ever told you. how much you've deposited in my life. even when you were of an opposing pole. all of it, better and surpassing. oh how i grit when i lose my defence. then again, it will soon be the last thing on my fingers.
keane's style is actually rather overlooked. i believe they're worthy of greater appreciation.
ahh yes. happy valentine's to all.
oh simple thing where have you gone i'm getting old and i need something to rely on so tell me when you're gonna let me in i'm getting tired and i need somewhere to begin.
perfection at 6:21 PM
-->
Monday, February 11, 2008
what a bother. you just need one bad apple in twenty to spoil your day.
i've got a kid called bowie who's absolutely adorable. he wore orange the other day and looked just like a baby tangerine. its so hard to make him appreciate the fact that his first name is the last name of a legend.
zathura's the most retardedly annoying movie ever. and its not just the script.
missing a day. distorts the schedule. i'll just sleep on it. hopefully it'll be over tomorrow.
there's only so much i can take and i just got to let go and who knows i might feel better if i dont try and i dont hope.
perfection at 5:16 PM
-->
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
splitting headache yesterday. although i dont know if it was a headache. it was more of a faceache. not too sure how a headache is supposed to feel like.
your subconscious is where all your true perceptions of people are stored. so if you say it repeatedly, i'm sorry but you cant label it a mere accident. because the subconscious doesnt produce accidents. it produces involuntary intentionals.
i feel quite sad for you actually. taking things so hard. so hard till it fogs your senses. and then you take an M16 for a spree. not cool stuff. you probably need a how-to-swallow-my-pride course. so much for a big dream only broad shoulders can carry. looks like you've got many more tribulations coming your way first.
something about impudent people irks me.
if you dont try, you'll never experience. and if you dont experience, you'll never learn. just gotta get past that first step. the rest will be fun and games.
my kids have been calling me "mrs." of late. sigh.
you dont know the cost of the oil you dont know the cost of my praise you dont know the cost of the oil in my alabaster jar.
perfection at 4:52 AM
-->
Saturday, February 02, 2008
God taught me to walk away. and walk away i did.
kids often have the misconception that all the adults in the grown-up world are somehow linked and that we have perpetual knowledge about each other. like when they ask "what time is mummy coming to pick me". and then i go "how would i know, she's yours, not mine". they also have an issue with kissing. the longer the duration, the more disgusting. kissing is normally used as an insult. like "eee yukesh must kiss enhui a thousand times for two hundred years". oh yes. in their world, the biggest number is a thousand. but a redeeming quality kids have. is that they never feel awkward when left alone with you. even without conversation.
i have a quirk. everytime i watch titanic. at the part where the men in the crow's nest spot the iceberg. and the captain starts frantically turning the steering wheel to the left. i'm there egging them on, hoping the ship will turn just a bit more than it usually did. just so it'll scrape past the iceberg and the ship wont sink and then people wouldnt have to drown or freeze to death. and then i'll cry because i couldnt do anything to save the many lives lost that night.
today just wasnt right. i shouldnt be feeling the way i am right now. that which i recognize so fondly. that long, familiar path on which my shreds are spread. both time and party dont fit. give me a stronger transmission coefficient to tunnel my imagination out of this potential well. i am hopeful, for its probability is never null.
yesterday all my troubles seem so far away now i need a place to hide away oh i believe in yesterday.
perfection at 5:17 PM
theJOURNEY.
theTUNES.
what sing you.
theMUSICIAN.
dania
st nicks
anderson
nus
trinity christian centre
